When Life Loves Me Back

October 7, 2009 at 8:27 pm (Uncategorized)
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This afternoon is what it’s all about…
Let me tell you.

After a slow start to the morning, I began cooking lunch for Gabriel’s lunch hour.  What a pleasant hour it was, filled with French toast, scrambled eggs, frozen blueberries, French press coffee, and an episode of Heroes.  After this, I embarked on an adventure that was quite ambitious for me: my first Pumpkin Cheesecake.  With a twist on three different recipes, I created my own with a gingersnap crust, maple syrup, cinnamon, nutmeg, and ginger; it promises to be tasty even if the presentation flops.  I attempted to make a pumpkin pie smoothie the other day (one of my greatest joys in life, no exaggeration), and it was a miserable failure… more like pumpkin-soymilk-and-spices juice. Nasty, to say the least, but I drank it ALL so as not to waste.  Pumpkin Cheesecake, take my heart, but please don’t break it.

My hair got moody and suddenly decided to lie flat yesterday, after sticking straight up for a good 5 weeks or so.  I can’t even try to make it look like it did before yesterday.  Now it really looks like a boy hair style.  I don’t mind, but Gabe asks that I please do SOMETHING to change it since right now it looks just like his. Ha ha!  I find this whole situation very humorous.  I still love my short hair, although yesterday I very nearly almost for a split second missed my long hair because I saw a picture of when I wore it straight and blonde in the front.  Even when it’s long again, I’m going to try to resist the urge to bleach it again.

My long work streak is over and now I’m back to my normal schedule, which is refreshing though not as financially productive.  I got to go to church on Sunday and totally chill for the rest of the day with Gabriel. It was absolutely glorious.  Tonight is small group.  And tomorrow I might hang out with a friend or two if I get all my errands done.  Today my goal is to get the apartment clean, though motivation is slow in coming.

October has not failed me yet.  So far it has brought nothing but joy, including the wedding of my friend and boss Rachel Cornwell, a reunion with my college friend Jessica Tracy, the birth of a friend’s baby (or actually, a few of them), the revival of pumpkiny goodness in all of my favorite seasonal recipes, and the list goes on.  Unfortunately, something October may NOT bring is our new house.  Our original plan was to try to purchase a house this month, but employment has become a more difficult issue than expected, so it may be a few months before this dream comes to fruition.  That’s okay.  The tax credit would’ve been nice, but I’d rather act wisely in every step of this big decision, than move quickly and dramatically increase my stress level.  Still, there’s still a possibility of us going forward with this soon, but only if all factors involved are quick to fall into place.  In the mean time, I’m having fun playing around with color schemes in my  head, imagining my kids running around and growing up in our future home.

This has always been an emotional and almost nostalgic season for me.  I can’t help but remember where I was this time last year.  I was insanely happy, making trips to the library to study astronomy and Japanese art, looking for shapes in the stars at night, planning my trip to buy my wedding dress, drinking pumpkin pie smoothies, hanging out with some very dear friends… I was very happy, but very anxious that it would somehow end because I hadn’t ever felt that happy before in my life.  It did end for a time, so I was right to guard my heart.  I had some heartbreaking things happen to me the following month.  But God used every cut and tear to reconstruct my heart to trust Him.  I cry even now thinking about His tenderness toward me.  Even before God has ever allowed my heart to break, He always prepares me in some way, either through a dream, a word from a friend, or a Scripture verse.  He has always been so faithful to me.  It is only through Him that sorrow and loss become healing and restoration.  And now, here, in October 2009, I am the most blessed girl on the planet.  I have a faithful friend as a husband, my beautiful family loves me, and my joy has been redefined in so many ways that I never could have imagined.

Things I love today:

*My loving best friend Gabriel
*Beirut
*Sufjan Stevens
*Jose Gonzalez, particularly “Heartbeats”
*Autumn air
*Helping people (work)
*Crochet
*Football (Gabe even made a fantasy football team for me)
*Wings & beer
*Long-sleeved t-shirts
*Books on CD
*Our little apartment

I could say more, but I really need to get to my chores. Much love to all of you on this beautiful day!

DSCF2858

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“Don’t let me down…”

September 26, 2009 at 11:31 pm (Uncategorized)
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The last few days have been a real let-down.  I’ll skip the major details because I know it would just make it worse.  Tonight I’m left with a headache and the need to cry it all out.  After thoroughly examining the current events in my life, I can’t really pinpoint what is causing this recent bout of emotional distress.  When I feel the tears, fear, or anger well up for no apparent reason, I have to firmly tell myself “I am okay. We are okay. Everything is going to be okay.”  It seems like everyone I talk to (or work with) is having a tough time lately, even the traffic accidents seem more frequent.  One of my coworkers says this is all because Mercury is in retrograde. … umm….. yeah. Don’t really know what to say about that.  But something is going on, and I don’t like it.

On a brighter note, the weather is starting to get a.m.a.z.i.n.g. for which I am so very very thankful.  Unfortunately I will only have one day off work for the next couple weeks to enjoy it.  I’ve picked up some extra work days to expedite the purchase-ability of our home.  My schedule of clients has been unusually and confusingly fickle lately, so I really don’t know how long this will take… surely longer than we had originally anticipated.  I’m shopping around for some good employment opportunities in our future town of residence with a forced optimism.  It’s important to keep deliberately reminding myself that everything will work out exactly as it should.  That said, I have a house picked out.  But that’s the extent of the progress.  It could be gone by the time we’re ready to make an offer.

[deep breath. sigh. regroup]

Gabriel made me a sandwich.  His sandwiches are magical.  This particular one was a version of his favorite sandwich: The Cuban.  It’s exactly what I wanted (though I still can’t shake this yucky headache).  I am so blessed to have a husband who is patient and gentle with me, especially when I’ve had a bad day.  He courageously comes to my rescue, even in the face of my irritability.  This afternoon he picked me up from work, and when I saw his handsome self walk through the door, the anxiety and frustrations of the day suddenly melted.  Here was my biggest fan and peace of mind.  Thank God.  I again await him now, because he’s playing bass for one of the prayer room teams.  I was going to go with him, but I feel really lousy with this headache and exhaustion.  He’ll be home in a couple hours and all will be well again.  All in all, I really do love the life God has given me.  Even when the planets are out of balance. :)

KC Royals game

KC Royals game

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To the South and Back

September 22, 2009 at 4:03 am (Uncategorized)
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So… Sorry there was confusion about our  road trip destination this past weekend.  We literally changed our plans at the last minute.  Our house-shopping process suddenly made leaps forward and we realized that this would be the last opportunity we would both be able to have time off work for a while.  Yes, I am very disappointed that we had to skip our Mississippi trip, especially the wedding.  It was with much deliberation that the change of plans was made.  This was the best we could do.

Thursday was a very long work day for me, but enjoyable nonetheless, finishing up with a fun and successful work event at the Firefly Lounge.  Gabriel picked me up from there around 9pm and we got on the road right away.  The drive was not bad at all, I took the first half and Gabriel the last half, made interesting by the books on tape he’d picked out from the library.  We arrived at our destination at exactly 7am, and took naps after greeting a mom who was all smiles.  There was not much rest for the weary, though, because our house search began only three hours later.  Tammy had taken the list we had compiled of houses we’d seen online and arranged for us to view them along with some she thought we might like.  As it turns out, we liked the houses she picked out more than most of the ones we originally thought were cool.  This was all exciting and fun.  We were tuckered out by the end and took an afternoon nap.  Daniel had an Elias Patriot show that night, so we wanted to be rested enough to go.  This was Gabriel’s first time to hear him play live.  We had a great time and, as usual, were very proud to have such a talented brother.

Saturday became progressively better with each hour, characterized by coffee and online house searching at Rivertown, neighborhood drives narrowing down our list, a UNA football game (which was incredibly comfortable and fun, as it was our first game with my husband present), wrapping up with another one of Daniel’s shows at Rivertown.  We talked for a while after the show with Quinn Erwin from Nashville who also played.  In addition to being a good song-writer, he had a lot of cool things in common with Gabriel and I, including having a heart for missions.  The conversation was encouraging.  Check this out: www.globalsupportmission.com.

Visiting my home church is always refreshing, and this time even more so because I felt like my family was more complete with my husband there.  The smiling faces of our church family were once again faithful to bring joy to our hearts.  They are beautiful people.  After a brief though enriching visit after the meeting, my family including Sharon Taylor had lunch at Maggie’s house before our second round of house-hunting with Tammy.  This hunt was longer, though it was a little rainy outside.  I found one I super like and want to buy, but I’m trying to be reasonable.  Afterwards, Tammy offered some very good insight and food for thought.  We are once again in the thinking stage, this time with a little more understanding of the process.  We could move forward now, but it seems like it would be easier and smarter to wait a few weeks or months.  We’ll see… and we’ll keep you posted.  There are a couple steps we need to take in order for things to progress in the most efficient way.  With that said, does anyone know of some good job opportunities in the Shoals area, particularly for Gabriel?

Today’s journey home was actually quite enjoyable, accompanied by “For Whom the Bell Tolls” on CD.  We are sleepy but happy to be home together, and satisfied with the events of the weekend.  Now we are watching episodes of the The Office and LOST online before calling it a day.  Tomorrow brings us back to the norm.  Time to earn more money.

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Pink Ribbons, Road Trips, House

September 16, 2009 at 3:00 pm (Uncategorized)
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I really should be at the gym swimming laps or running miles right now, but I still feel somewhat wiped out from a very successful fund-raising day at work yesterday.  The company I work for hosted an event to raise money for the Susan G. Komen Foundation, seeking to raise $500,000 in one day.  I don’t know if the goal was met, but we were as busy as could be.  I even had the honor of working with another breast cancer survivor.  For those of you who don’t know, cancer patients and survivors are very close to my heart, and I consider it a privilege every time I get to minister to one.  That is one of the reasons I cut all my hair off twice in my life so far, to donate it to an orginization like Locks of Love who can use it to help patients find dignity in their appearance again.  A few inches of hair or a donated dollar are such small sacrifices compared to the challenges and odds that these courageous individuals face.  I was proud that my company has done what they could to help.

Today, though it is my day off, will most likely prove to be busy.  We have a road trip coming up this weekend and this will be my last chance to get everything in order, as tomorrow will be crazy (I’m picking up more hours at work and also have a work event at a hip local restaurant called the Firefly that night).  My apartment needs cleaning and bills need organizing…. my arms need ice, etc.  My energy level needs to be kicked up a notch.  I have been soooo tired lately.  But no, I’m not pregnant yet –which is what EVERYONE around me says every time I mention I’m tired or hungry or emotional or have swollen feet or sneeze or blink an eye, come on people!  (However, I just found out yesterday that my friends Ryan and Beka Rickman in Alabama are expecting their first baby!!! Congrats to them!! I’m very excited, if you can’t tell)  When I’m pregnant, believe me, I’ll let you know.  Anyway back to the energy level thing… oh, well, I’m done talking about that.  I just need some coffee.

ROAD TRIP!! Friday morning, my handsome husband and I will load the car and embark on a journey to the South.  Not my dixieland hometown, unfortunately, but that will come before to long.  No, we are headed across the Great Mississipp’ down to the edges of the Delta.  First stop will be to spend some time with Emily and Caleb in Starkville, as they have recently moved from Pennsylvania.  The next day will bring us to Columbia, Mississippi to witness the re-marriage of my old friend Sonny’s dear parents — a joyous occasion indeed.  There will also most likely be a great reunion of college friends that day to celebrate what God has done.  I am really looking forward to it.  That night, Gabriel and I will most likely campout at one of my favorite campsites on the Natchez Trace.  Sunday is open right now, and we’re trying to keep it that way so we can just enjoy what comes along.  We’ll probably drive into Jackson so I can show Gabriel my old stomping grounds from my college days.  I have only a few good friends left in the area, so we may or may not be running into any of them.  We’ll most likely camp again that night, to awaken the next morning for the long drive home (kind of makes me tired just thinking about it).

Some of you know that we have been looking into buying a house.  By way of update, I am anxiously awaiting an email today that may determine if it’s possible.  We were originally told that we should have absolutely no problem with getting pre-approved because of my credit, but now things are looking gray-ish on the income side of things.  We’ll keep you updated.  Just pray that God’s will is done in our lives concerning our relocation and house purchase.  We are not worried, but if we are to buy a house in the near future, we would really like for it to be sooner than later.  If all goes as planned, I’ll be going shopping in Alabama in less than a couple weeks.

There are a few things I have thought to include in this post, such as a recent wedding that we helped out with and other good times we’ve had lately, but in my opinion Gabriel has worded them best, so visit his blog if you’re interested.  Speaking of Gabriel, I just want to say that I think I’m the most blessed girl in the world to have such a wonderful best friend and lover as a husband.  I feel like I can be my real self and still be lovely.

It’s coffee time!!

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